I once heard that readers our leaders. I figured, if I wanted to be a leader, reading seemed like an easy start. As a new year rolled around I made a goal to read a book a month. The year past and I read three books. Some people read that in a week! Okay… take two. The next year I made the same goal. I read six books. I noticed the progress and thought, “Third time’s the charm!” and so as I ushered in a new year with the same reading goal. This was the year I read a book a month. Granted I was single, had spare time, and the goal of not failing, but I did it. So when I was asked to join a women’s leadership book group I thought, ‘Hey I did it once, I can do it again and this time I have support.” I also have a 2 year old, three “jobs” (aka my life passions), a husband and I’m pregnant, but who needs spare time, right?!?!

Well, this ambitious “yes” has turned out to be an amazing blessing. No parenthesis required!

As I hopped onto this learning with leaders and readers train, I realized that not only have I not read a complete book in ages and that I’m I slow reader, but that I really only have what I call “Toilet Time” to read. How much toilet time does one really have with a toddler running around? All my questions were soon answered with the first book out of the gate.

The Fringe Hours  by Jessica N. Turner

How perfect! I mean, who could use such a concept more than me? Apparently, a lot of people, but not everyone will put it into practice. For example, there were so many things in the book that I found encouraging, but with this “baby brain”, I can’t remember them. I do remember how it made me feel. It left me feeling like A) I wasn’t alone and B) I needed to start crafting or something. In the next blog, my failed Pinterest attempts.

You are not alone.

It’s so comforting to know that there were other women throwing in the dishcloth to do something they actually enjoy doing. Dishes will always be there, but if we don’t nurture ourselves as much as we nurture those around us, who we really are may fade away. If we ourselves aren’t full, how can we effectively fill someone else? Good intentions only take us so far.  If your anything like me, once that cup is empty all I have left is a short temper. There was also a quote that really stood out to me.

Comparison is an act of violence against the self. – Iyanla Vanzant

Being a first time mom you get to see first hand the mommy shaming. It’s the competition between what little Johnny did better than Susan and yet they both have yet to reach their 1^st birthday. It’s the ‘snub’ if you bottle-feed or if you breastfeed in public or if you go back to work early or if you decide to never return at all. It can be a dizzying world to get sucked into thanks to Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. All of which only show a snap shot of someone’s entire day and typically is it the highlight. It’s that moment after your neatly folded laundry gets waylaid by your toddler. BUT for a brief second, she sits there sweetly eating a cookie just long enough for you to snap a picture, crop out the pile of laundry, add a fancy filter, write an inspirational caption about how mommy hood is the best and hit post before chaos reeks havoc once again and the battle to fight back the tears resumes. We all go through moments like this whether it’s at the office, in school or at home and thus comparison is such an unfair standard to place on yourself. It’s true, because life wouldn’t be so sweet without the moments between the Instagram pictures.

Do something you enjoy doing.

I am not a crafter, but everyone has something that makes them feel alive. Sometimes we have to rediscover or redefine what that is. This book really challenged me to figure this out for myself. I love my work. I know the book isn’t talking about working more, but I really do love what I do. I found myself reading through the book during my “fridge hours”, because that is the time I had left between work, life and in most cases mismanaging my toddler. (I don’t think there is such thing a managing a toddler like I did before I had children.) I am in a huge transition and I know that my fringe hours may be 10 minutes here and there for a season, but it is worth the quest to find things that fill me. We’ll see how well blogging goes and maybe I’ll figure out a quick 5-minute workout routine. This is my adventure as we go from one baby to two. At this point, I’m projecting the fringe hour may be a bath, but at least it’s time to myself!

What do you do to refuel? What task can wait till tomorrow for you to spend a little time on that? It’s not selfish. In fact, it is probably something you tell your family and friends to do. 🙂 Time to put that into practice. I will be more than okay.